Then There was Them - A Glimpse

Yesterday I felt triggered, and I wanted to post a rant. But when I read it back, I realized I wasn’t grounded in my thoughts.

So I paused.

Today, looking at it, I know it came from a place that doesn’t need to be spoken out loud.

With everything going on and the changes coming in my life, I know I’ll have more days like that. What matters is how I handle them and move forward.

This blog is my journey into the version of me that has been guarded—allowing myself to finally be free in who I truly am. I’ve said it before: I will no longer shrink for anyone, and I will not allow dominance over my nervous system.

And that brings me here.

Some of my entries already mention certain names. I use them on purpose. I won’t be using real ones.

As I look back, I see how many relationships I’ve had to walk away from—not because I failed, but because they didn’t serve me, didn’t serve my kids, and disrupted my growth.

So I’m opening that door.

The deeper stories will come in this blog under Then There Was Them.

I’ve already written a little about The Pathological Liar—my son’s father.

After him came The Troll. Relentless in his pursuit, only to let me go later because he wasn’t ready to be with a single mom.

Then came The Abuser—self-explanatory, but also one of the most frightening times in my life.

Followed by The Pastor, who hid behind religion while positioning me into a support system so he could leave.

The Schizophrenic will carry many stories. He is my daughter’s father—and the one I say broke me. After him, I spent the better part of ten years alone.

Then came Mama’s Boy.

And finally, The Narcissist—the one who opened the floodgates to understanding my nervous system and how it all ties back to my mother and my upbringing.

Each of them played a part in how I see relationships today—the boundaries I’ve set and the lines I will never allow to be crossed again.

Right now, I choose to stay single.

To explore. To grow. To heal.

To make decisions for myself—decisions that will bring me closer to where I’m meant to be.

And where I can finally focus on the things that make me happy.